Thanks to screenwriters, movies are full of hilarious lines. There’s humor in all genres. If you’re ready to laugh, read the funniest movie quotes.
Movies are excellent for education, entertainment, and relaxation.
They date back to the late 19th century. Today, there are hundreds of thousands of movies.
Throughout the many film genres and years, screenwriters have written funny lines.
The following are hilarious movie quotes to make you laugh.
Related: Funny Theater Puns
Hilarious movie quotes to keep you laughing
1. “Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.” –Shrek 2, 2004
2. “Earth is amazing! There are these things called farms. They put seeds in the ground, pour water on them, and they grow into food, like pizzas!” –WALL-E, 2008
3. “Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.” –Duck Soup, 1933
4. “If you are going to come along with us, please refrain from saying things like ‘preach’ or ‘go girl’ or any other colloquialism that you may have looked up in an urban dictionary.” –Girls Trip, 2017
5. “If I wore my hair natural like yours, I’d be bald.” –Auntie Mame, 1958
6. “That’s it, dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!” –Mulan, 1998
7. “I don’t want to be rude, but may I have a drink? I had three or four before I got here, but they’re beginning to wear off. And you know how that is.” –The Awful Truth, 1937
8. “Keep the change, ya filthy animal.” –Home Alone, 1990
9. “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.” –Airplane, 1980
10. “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” –The Wizard of Oz, 1939
11. “I fart in your general direction!” –Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975
12. “These people are so posh and snobby, they’re snoshy.” –Crazy Rich Asians, 2018
13. “Stupid is as stupid does.” –Forrest Gump, 1994
14. “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.” –Airplane, 1980
15. “I’m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” –The Devil Wears Prada, 2006
16. “It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here. I gotta send him back to the South Pole.” –Billy Madison, 1995
17. “I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?” –Meet the Parents, 2000
18. “That is my least vulnerable spot.” –Casablanca, 1942
19. “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.” –Animal Crackers, 1930
20. “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen you look ugly. And that makes me kind of happy.” –Bridesmaids, 2011
21. “Honey, do you honestly think I would check thousands of tiny little lights if I wasn’t sure the extension cord was plugged in?” –National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, 1989
22. “There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.” –The First Wives Club, 1996
23. “You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!” –Happy Gilmore, 1996
24. “I’m the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.” –The Departed, 2006
25. “I’m glad he’s single because I’m going to climb that like a tree.” –Bridesmaids, 2011
26. “What is this? A center for ants?” –Zoolander, 2001
27. “I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.” –Spaceballs, 1987
28. “Greater good? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you’re ever gonna get!” –The Incredibles, 2004
29. “Not you, fat Jesus. Slide it on back!” –The Hangover, 2009
30. “Hold on to your butts!” –Jurassic Park, 1993
31. “But did you die?” –The Hangover Part II, 2011
32. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” –Love Story, 1970
33. “You know how to cut to the core of me Baxter. You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.” –Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, 2004
34. “My name is Jim. But most people call me… Jim.” –Blazing Saddles, 1974
35. “It was a good death.” –Legends of the Fall, 1994
36. “I drink your milkshake!” –There Will Be Blood, 2007
37. “A fatty who likes golf and beer. Gee, Mary, where are you gonna find a gem like that?” –There’s Something About Mary, 1998
38. “Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” –Step Brothers, 2008
39. “Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.” –Napoleon Dynamite, 2004
40. “What the hell have you people been smoking out there?” –Avatar, 2009
41. “McLovin? What kind of stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?” –Superbad, 2007
42. “I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.” –The Departed, 2006
43. “King Kong ain’t got shit on me!” –Training Day, 2001
44. “Go ahead, make my day.” –Sudden Impact, 1983
45. “Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!” –Caddyshack, 1980
46. “Son of a bitch stole my line.” –Good Will Hunting, 1997
47. “Supermodels – ha! Nothing super about them. Spoiled, stupid little stick-figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for GODS!” –The Incredibles, 2004
48. “Some people are worth melting for.” –Frozen, 2013
49. “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” –Rush Hour, 1998
50. “I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” –Snakes on a Plane, 2006
51. “English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?” –Pulp Fiction, 1994
52. “Look at me. Look at me. I am the captain now.” –Captain Phillips, 2013
53. “Excuse me. I believe you have my stapler.” –Office Space, 1999
54. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” –Gone with the Wind, 1939
55. “My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” –Forrest Gump, 1994
56. “How the hell did you get the beans above the frank?” –There’s Something About Mary, 1998
57. “This morning, he woke up dead.” –Scary Movie 3, 2003
58. “You had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.” –Django Unchained, 2012
59. “I am the motherfucker that found this place, sir.” –Zero Dark Thirty, 2012
60. “In one of our designs even these mosquito bites will look like juicy, juicy mangoes!” –Bend It Like Beckham, 2002
61. “Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” –The Big Lebowski, 1998
62. “They hate us cuz they anus.” –The Interview, 2014
63. “Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that.” –National Lampoon’s Vacation, 1983
64. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.” –Dr. Strangelove, 1964
65. “It’s about time somebody stood up to Auntie Eleanor. But you, not me, oh god. She can’t ever know I was here.” –Crazy Rich Asians, 2018
66. “I’ll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got.” –Raising Arizona, 1987
67. “I’m about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late ’90s.” –Deadpool, 2016
68. “Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed.” –Legally Blonde, 2001
69. “You’re tacky, and I hate you.” –School of Rock, 2003
70. “She doesn’t even go here.” –Mean Girls, 2004
71. “You relax. You’re the dead guy.” –Ghost, 1990
72. “By all means move at a glacial pace, you know how that thrills me.” –The Devil Wears Prada, 2006
73. “Please. Have mercy. I’ve been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday.” –Planes, Trains and Automobiles, 1987
74. “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” –Jaws, 1975
75. “Does this look like a sippy cup? No, it’s a fucking juice box! Because I’m not a fucking child!” –Good Boys, 2019
76. “You stink. You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa.” –Elf, 2003
77. “Look like a bedazzler threw up on that thing . . . donate it to the My Little Pony Motorcycle club.” –Girls Trip, 2017
78. “I’ll have what she’s having.” –When Harry Met Sally…, 1989
79. “It’s not a man purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.” –The Hangover, 2009
80. “Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads.” –Back to the Future, 1985
81. “Is that your gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” –She Done Him Wrong, 1933
82. “According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.” –Dumb and Dumber, 1994
83. “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.” –Clerks, 1994
84. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” –Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, 1994
85. “If I had a dick, this is the part where I’d tell you to suck it.” –Lake Placid, 1999
86. “If we get any more white people in here, this is gonna be a suburb.” –Hairspray, 2007
87. “Oh, right, to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs.” –A Fish Called Wanda, 1988
88. “When life gives you lemons, just say ‘fuck the lemons’, and bail.” –Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 2008
89. “I’m hallucinating! For a while, I thought the Care Bears were here!” –The Money Pit, 1986
90. “Nobody tosses a dwarf.” –The Lord of the Rings, 2001
91. “Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped, and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it.” –10 Things I Hate About You, 1999
92. “Exsqueeze me?” –Wayne’s World, 1992
93. “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” –The Princess Bride, 1983
94. “You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.” –On the Waterfront, 1954
95. “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?” –The Graduate, 1967
96. “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.” –Planet of the Apes, 1968
97. “You sit on a throne of lies.” –Elf, 2003
98. “You’re killin’ me, Smalls.” –The Sandlot, 1993
99. “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.” –Cool Hand Luke, 1967
100. “Well, here’s to another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!” –Sons of the Desert, 1933
101. “Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!” –Auntie Mame, 1958
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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.